what causes possessiveness in a relationship

Desire: Desire also leads to possessiveness and humans by nature have this element in them from the birth. However, there is a slight difference: Jealousy is a feeling and possessiveness is a behavior. Possessiveness to an extent is normal and required in a relationship; but the level of possessiveness as long as remains healthy is alright to handle. This is a strictly moderated site. Whether it’s a fear from a past relationship, or even something that happened in childhood, you need to figure out what is causing you to feel and act this way. However, many couples find there can … But the same rule is not be applicable in her case as she would like to deposit and save her money in banks. In a possessive relationship, personal space is rarely a concept that is valued. or     A detached person is alert about differences. How to cure and how can someone know their limit when they don't even know what's that they are doing and why? This is the fear of unknown, something which does not exist but still exist, in our minds. In marriage what is yours is theirs and what is theirs is yours. At times we like a person but we don’t trust him therefore we start behaving possessively since we are afraid of losing that person. But the same rule is not be applicable in her case as she would like to deposit and save her money in banks. This site is free and open to everyone, but our registered users get extra privileges like commenting, and voting. Love is not insane to keep a person bound to the whims and moods of anyone. Meditation is an important tool for overcoming possessiveness. She may not welcome the idea if you invite your parents to your place and demands that instead you should pay a visit to them and let her live at her own peace. Sometimes, it so happens that without your knowledge you repeat your mistakes and by the time you realize those things go out of your control. If one could do so then almost 90 percent of the problems would solve and many hearts would be saved from crashing. Most people can be possessive. I am in a relationship that I have wanted all of my life. In some cases, the possessive individual’s goal is to make you feel worthless and incapable of finding another relationship by damaging your self-esteem. The keys to manage your mind is only in your hands.What are the causes of possessiveness?Before you tie your hip and made up your mind to solve any problem, you need to understand clearly the causes that lead one to be possessive by nature:Relying too much: Normally, it has been found that relying too much on a person or spending too much time on the thoughts of a particular person leads one to be possessive or perhaps it plants the seeds of possessiveness in one's heart.Lack of one's space: Each person needs some space in his/her life and no one should come within that limited space. But once you ever dare to cross this crucial limit then it becomes emotional pain. This is a state of mind where we free ourselves from materialism and the fear of unknown. Jealousy is a different emotion. What is possessiveness?While you keep your emotions under your control everything works out fine for you. It reflects the injured and degraded self esteem of that person. It reflects a state of superiority complex of that person or the dominancy. It is a natural reaction of every human being and exists in every person to an extent. But this is a need no one can ever be freed from the basic amenities even not a nude monk. The new partner resents the relationship between the parents and their partner. Love is an eternal pleasure and should be allowed to flow if we try to stop it and wish that it remains constant then it becomes a pool of stagnant water, full of algae and of no use. Here the word ‘manic’ is used since it indicates the extremity of the condition. Try taking some soil in your hand and make a grip over it. Many are and it can become a problem that repeats itself over and over damaging the relationship beyond saving. Therefore a possessive person can never remain happy, such people always fear, from something they are not even sure about. Try to concentrate on the other important affairs of life or occupy yourself with some positive hobby so that you can devote some quality time on yourself which is going to serve your purpose very well. Possessiveness also attacks when one thinks too deeply over trifle matters. While OLD is gaining more attention, it’s relatively rare. He/she feels insecure and does things which should be avoided. When it comes to possessiveness, a little bit of it is acceptable and will be good in any relationship. A good relationship is one where possessiveness has no place or even if it has it should be minimal. Desires are as high as mountains, as deep as oceans and as vast as this entire universe, they can never be fulfilled. The green-eyed monster, as Shakespeare called it, can camp in your head at any time during a relationship: when you are madly in love, when you are snugly attached, even when you dislike your partner. Thanks a bunch. Possessiveness on the other hand, reflects a state of mind in which a person perceives a natural dominancy over a thing or being. Tips to overcome possessiveness are the hot topic of the day and a perfect one to dig into if you have a possessive partner or have been told you’re a bit on the possessive side yourself. At the same time females need to be possessive about their male since it helps to control her male to provide better opportunities for her progeny. Trust is the foundation upon which a relationship stands. Here are given some important tips to overcome possessiveness:You need to realize your limit and do a proper analysis of your behavior to find out if you are getting too much possessive by nature. Many a time people confuse possessiveness with jealousy. We fail to realize that no slave can love, slaves can only serve. The emotional reaction that is involved in a jealous nature can make you step up your involvement at work or in a relationship as well as defeat your competitor. Speak to yourself and say that you trust your partner and have full faith on him/her. If you disagree with her then she may even want to punish you mentally by not responding to your queries.She may want to hand over your salary to her so that she could spend it in the family expenses. If you feel that your appearance isn’t as good as another coworker, then you may buy new clothes and feel encouraged to do more. Here are some sign of possessiveness of men which you need to take notice off:He involves too much in your social life. The sentences are quite rude. Such people work for no personal intension but for the society and the people around him. People who are in relationships need to give their partners some amount of space so that within that space the other partner grooms and matures. Digital Marketing by SpiderWorks Technologies, Kochi - India. Jealousy—that sickening combination of possessiveness, suspicion, rage, and humiliation—can overtake your mind and threaten your very core as you contemplate your rival. She carried along with her a wooden statue of Buddha which she carved herself. And if we think that we can make that person ours be keeping him with us then we are meddling with the nature. That temple had several statues of Buddha. Simple things like checking one's mail, messages and phone contacts should be avoided. Of great help! It is a matter of giving all you have to one person and vice versa. You need to have friends, colleagues, relatives in your life so that your life moves on smoothly. However there may be other reasons for such attitude of a person. What causes possessiveness in a relationship? A little possessiveness is normal in every relationship. The subject of having a possessive or controlling relationship partner may feel worlds away from the sweet sentiment behind asking someone to be your Valentine. If your partner is the possessive type, you might have many reasons to be concerned, both for your safety and for the health of your relationship. But here trust and love are inversely related because it is not necessary if a person loves the other he/she also trusts him/her. Making use of materialistic things does cause obsession for them but their attachment does. Write detailed comment, relevant to the topic. If you have a possessive boyfriend, girlfriend or partner, chances are they will impose themselves too much on your need to have time, space and objects … Detachment leads you to doorway of paradise and freedom while attachment on the other hand, causes a halt. For the sake of your love you can trust on your partner and be relaxed. What is more important is that you still love him/her. Every individual has its individuality and when that individuality is in danger no one can sit back because it is only thing that he cannot afford to lose, a thing shall remain with him as long as he is alive. She may want to hand over your salary to her so that she could spend it in the family expenses. Jealousy is always with a person and not thing while possessiveness can be for a thing or a person. To love someone is to let that person free. They don’t respect your personal boundaries. This is really helpfully. Attachment is just the superficial emotion that gives the wrong idea of love. Giving away your possessions does lead to this goal, instead it requires giving away of attachment and conquering the biggest enemy in this way that is, desire. As a person with numerous years in the field of self-improvement, I've finally come to learn that the easiest and quickest way to release possessiveness and other problems is through the one and only true God. 20 09. Even the psychologists argue that emotions are a vital part of human mind and they are essential to offer the most appropriate environment for the potential progeny. If a person fails to get proper attention in his childhood he wishes to fulfill that scarcity from their close when they grow up. This is welcome but each of the partners are equally responsible for family expenses. But you would not get instant benefit from it. Possessiveness is triggered by insecurity. The person takes him to be the master of that thing or being. The moment the level of possessiveness goes beyond the normal level it takes serious turns and sometimes even breaks the relationship. Get clarity from our astrology experts and psychics. Possesiveness is a natural feeling that we have towards anybody tha we love, are connected to and care about. These are the important ingredients of your happiness. She may not take it lightly when you speak with other girls. You may feel jealous of your boyfriend's female friend, but he may never know unless you tell him. Stating clearly, you are jealous when you wish you take place of other person while you are possessive if you wish to take control over the life and desires of other person. No one can take control over the life and desires of anyone and if you try to do so, you are spoiling your relationships with your hands. Nobody in this world is a personal property. This article on being possessive is very informative to improve any relationship. Wiki User Answered . Your email address will not be published. It is also a fact that it is not impossible to solve the complexes of a relationship without involving the dose of possessiveness in it. Every possessive relationship starts off like a fairy tale, where you have met someone who cares deeply about you so you’re not ready to look for signs that something is wrong, because it just feels … He may call you several times in a day to find out about your whereabouts. It’s estimated that less than 0.1 percent of people have the disorder.. But no, she would be having her own explanations that her money is meant to be saved and it is only the you who needs to handle all the expenses. Thank you. It’s human instinct to become possessive about someone we truly love. If so, then apply the timely break on your behavior to save your relationship from getting crashed. 8. You may not realize it very soon since you may be so much deeply involved with her love but believe me you will realize it at some point of time. But how can you differentiate between healthy and unhealthy jealousy in a relationship? It reflects weakness of that person. I remember narrating an interesting story of a nun. Everything in this nature has its own importance and right of freedom. If you disagree with her then she may even want to punish you mentally by not responding to your queries. I really need help, Your email address will not be published. Things may not end here as she would like to check you mobile, messages and even mails. While jealousy is a normal human emotion, it becomes unhealthy when it causes someone to control or lash out at you. He demands proper explanation about the people you are meeting and what for. Change is in the nature of life and we have to accept this fact. When we look at a water, it takes the shape of the container in which it is put, remaining unaffected by the oil floating over it so should we be, remaining in this world but completely ignorant about the materialism as well as the pain caused by it. Possessiveness is normal to a degree for people who prefer monogamous relations but too much is not good. Asked by Wiki User. It's a great article! It will help you come to terms with your issue and conquer it, which in turn will make you feel better and will help future relationships. If it has it should be avoided hand, causes a halt interesting of... Complete life by concentrating on other things which does not exist but still exist, in our minds we... Can only serve they do n't even know what 's that they are doing and why case as would! Jealousy, which is in possession of something in his life call you several times a! Because of some unknown hidden fear in the nature your salary to her point of irrespective... 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